1) Run through a meadow.
2) Twist your ankle in a hole in the middle of the meadow, and find that you are trapped with no one to help you because you were a dumbass who went to a desolate meadow by yourself, and oh god, you don’t have cell reception, which doesn’t matter anyways, because you forgot to charge your phone, ohgodohgodohgod.
2) Develop an itchy rash while lying in the meadow, because you are severely allergic to grass. Maybe cry a little.
3) The hole that you twisted your ankle in is actually a portal to hell, and tiny demons stab at your foot with pitchforks.
4) Children skipping through the meadow stop momentarily to point and laugh at you. When you beg for help, they take a quick selfie with you (at an unflattering upwards angle), and then continue with their skipping through the flowers. By the time they get home, welcomed by warm cookies and milk, the selfie has accumulated thousands of likes (though a lot of their followers comment that the picture would have been better if they had cropped you out).
5) Develop a blistering sunburn, because the protective powers of your spf 100 has worn off due to your nervous sweating. Cry out to a silent sky, and eventually come to the realization that death is an inevitable part of life
6) Decide to accept your fate with dignity (you are too dehydrated to cry, anyways).
7) Spring has sprung! Yay!!!!!!
Okay, so my idea that immobile cocoons would be hot for winter 2013/2014 did not take off as much as it should have, but here are my ideas for Spring 2014:Menswear: Hawaiian shirts, basketball pants (the snap ones/not shorts). sambas (I am seeing an upsurge in sambas, which I like)
Womenswear: windbreakers (I keep looking for a decent windbreaker, but have had difficulties finding one), skorts, sneakers of some sort (preferable Onitsuka Tigers, because those are the only ones I own).
This probably all sounds terrible(ly awesome). I think it’s sort of what characters wore in the movie Idiocracy, a movie about a dystopian future where everyone is a dumbass, which seems very “now.” Hearing about the Chanel fashion show that was set at a “Chanel Grocery Store” makes me hate everything, and feel like we should all just wear functional clothing that will allow us to swiftly run away from Karl Lagerfield, should we encounter him in a dark alley.
This isn’t normcore. That isn’t a thing. We’ve all just given up because of the endless winter. Very upset that I know what normcore means, and can’t go around assuming that it’s some form of boring pornography.
Also, I probably won’t dress like this (except for the windbreaker, I am definitely feeling them).
I’ve mentioned on here before that I follow a LOT of puppy instagram accounts. I had to unfollow one yesterday, because the owner had a meltdown in their caption about how they felt that they weren’t getting enough “likes” per photo. They went on to say that they had been going out in two feet of snow in order to get good shots of their dog, and how miserable their ordeal had been. THEIR ordeal, which they probably endured warmly clad in boots and snow pants, while they make their dog hang out in two feet of snow, so that they could post prints to etsy and get unconscious double-taps from strangers procrastinating on their phones.
Puppy parents on insta are the new stage moms.
Why am I writing about this?
I blame the discontent of this endless winter.