Hi there, I'm Jane Mattimoe.

- I post a lot of my original art work on here, because the alternative would be pulling a Goya, and wallpapering my house with it.

-I collaborate on comics with my friend Julian Rowe(I write the jokes and he draws them)! Check for our blog of cartoons rejected by The New Yorker in the links section!

-I'm a watercolor artist who focuses on landscapes and portraiture.

-I write about my adventures (which usually involve music, art, and New York City).

-Currently attempting to write a novel (don't ask about it...).

-I like creative punctuation;

-I am physically incapable of getting a tan.

-I moved to Manhattan on two days' notice.

-But now I live in Williamsburg, Brooklyn.

mattijanemoe@gmail.com

You know when you make an acquaintance and they’re trying to figure out if you “get” their (what they seem to feel is an obscure) reference to a 2001: A Space Odyssey, and the scene they mention reminds you of your favorite Kubrick film, Paths of Glory, and how you think his signature walking dolly shots are really neat, like when Kirk Douglas makes the rounds through the trenches before going to battle, and you’re really animated,  and the person you’re talking to thinks you’re an alien and is like, “are you sure that’s a Kubrick film? I’ve never heard of it.” and then you quickly change the subject to puppies and remember why you have a tumblr?

Tuesday, July 29, 2014
Should I meet the guy temporarily living in my roomie’s room wearing the Bette Davis face paint?

Should I meet the guy temporarily living in my roomie’s room wearing the Bette Davis face paint?

SHABAZZ PALACES HAS A NEW ALBUM OUT AND IT’S REALLY GOOD.

!!!

Selfie as Bette Davis. Creative cropping bc I don’t have her five-head. More Selfies As Other People here!

Selfie as Bette Davis. Creative cropping bc I don’t have her five-head. More Selfies As Other People here!

Monday, July 28, 2014
I have the same kind of brush that Bill Watterson (allegedly) uses and I’m trying to channel the inking of Chas Addams. Get at me, world.

I have the same kind of brush that Bill Watterson (allegedly) uses and I’m trying to channel the inking of Chas Addams. Get at me, world.

Sunday, July 27, 2014

Office Golf Cart.

Since the white flags were mysteriously placed atop the Brooklyn Bridge, we’ve seen an upsurge in cops in golf carts here on the Williamsburg Bridge. The little white wheeled boxes menacing pedestrians on the Peptol pink bridge always make me think of Kevin James’ Paul Blart: Mall Cop (though I’ve never had the chance to see the film, the title’s strange string of monosyllables occasionally pops into my head— Paul. Blart. Mall. Cop. I assume he had a golf cart).

While jogging, I like to pretend that I’m part of some sort of police chase. Usually, I’ve done nothing wrong— it’s a case of mistaken identity, which I can prove if I make it back to my apartment on time, where I have the documentation to back me up. Though sometimes, fantasy collides with real life when I find myself between a massive unpassable group of tourists clogging the bridge, oblivious on their phones, who are unwittingly playing a game of chicken with a police officer who appears to be flooring it to an emergency game of golf. Then I actually am running from the law (“You’ll never catch me alive, coppers!!!”).

The police presence isn’t entirely unwelcome— recently, before the influx of cops, I think I might have set a world record, shaving several hours (minutes, seconds, eons…?) off my mile time while attempting to escape a man howling while brandishing an empty bottle of beer. I would have appreciated the police during that moment, though I’m not sure how they would have handled the situation.

I am picturing a Kevin James in a cop cart puttering slowly behind the scary bridge man, while a caddy hands him a golf club. He shouts into a megaphone, “Sir, you’re going to have to stop. I have a nine-iron here, and I’ve been itching to use it.” (This particular cop had a lousy day on the green—he completely flubbed an easy chip in on the 9th hole, and he means what he says. The Scary Bridge Man should be nervous).

The Scary Bridge Man turns around to see the golf cart, and his anger quickly turns into fear as he realizes that there is no escape. Kevin James halts his cart, and slowly sets up a tee and a tiny golf cart. He makes the Scary Bridge Man practice his swing, while ridiculing his form mercilessly.

After a while, Kevin James feels something on his cheek— a solitary tear. He realizes that he never made the time to have children, and as he sees the Scary Bridge Man’s swing improve, he wonders if the quiet glow of happiness growing in his stomach is what fatherhood feels like.

Suddenly, the Scary Bridge Guy swings like he has been doing for the past hour, but this time, a miracle occurs. Briefly, he appears to be Tiger Woods in peak form (pre sex scandal). The golf ball sails in a seemingly endless trajectory around the world. Kevin James whistles softly, “That would have surely been a hole-in-one.”

The Scary Bridge Man walks up to Kevin James, eyes wide with the realization that he was part of something perfect, and says, “Pops, did I make you proud?”

Kevin James clasps his on the Scary Bridge Man’s shoulder and says, “Son, I’ve never been more proud of you.” They both hop into the golf cart, and slowly roll into the sunset, while I lurchingly run past them, gasping and wildly rolling my eyes, while clutching my left arm, presumably dying from a heart attack.

Saturday, July 26, 2014

Some rejects from last week. They got a bit rumpled in my bag. Gonna work on ink wash this week!

Sorry to keep posting this but the only difference between the two pics is a high gloss varnish meant to deepen saturation. I’m not sure if I should just stick to watercolors without the varnish? I like the effect, but it sorta changed the shading in a funky way… any thoughts from artist pals?

Sorry to keep posting this but the only difference between the two pics is a high gloss varnish meant to deepen saturation. I’m not sure if I should just stick to watercolors without the varnish? I like the effect, but it sorta changed the shading in a funky way… any thoughts from artist pals?

Friday, July 25, 2014

captainstormwind:

the truth is out there.

Thursday, July 24, 2014
A young Bruce Springsteen. Impossible to photograph without glare because of the varnish. He is more in shadows in person. Maybe listen to the album The Ghost of Tom Joad today. Watercolors +gouache +crystal varnish.

A young Bruce Springsteen. Impossible to photograph without glare because of the varnish. He is more in shadows in person. Maybe listen to the album The Ghost of Tom Joad today. Watercolors +gouache +crystal varnish.

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Are we all psyched for the JMW Turner biopic?! 

 
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